Realm of the Black Knight

2006-06-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object

The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get.
You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them.
The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase.

You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away.
You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance.
Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't!

You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors.
Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor.
You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

2006-06-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

2006-06-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

I am freaking fed up with the life of my working environment now. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REally feel like bashing someone up.
WHere is the appreciation of the hard work I have done?
Where is the promotion that you mention?
Never mind the monetary increase since it is impossible but the promotion is at least a recognition of my hard work.
Even the fucking new guy is doing so much more less crap than I do and worst of all, he is climbing onto my head.
I just took a MC on tuesday as I wasn't feeling well...
Know what? I just learnt that my boss ask my supervisor to invistigate on me.
Fucking piss off.

In the past, my colleague were like friends to me. It's a pity that they ORDed and came this new guy. I think I treated him too well that he is trying to climb onto my head. The motivation to work was coming and chat with my friends. Now, there is no motivation at work at all. To make things worst, the increase of my job scope.

In this new FY, there is a change in the financial management system and things was hectic. There is so much to learn and sadly I have to learn how to operate the system for my boss too, just in case if he doesn't know how.

Damn...

I dun mind learning more stuff but do you have to increase the job scope that isn't mine? What the hell were you thinking? Do you recognise of my capabilities therefore the increase of my job scope? But solely by increasing my jobscope just make me piss off rather than appreaciating the recognition.

What the hell was he thinking?

I got to surrender my brain cells to them now even have to surrender my muscles. Got to do ordering/ purchasing and now even collecting when there are no one ard. FUCK! And the journey isn't just a door step away. I have to go across the sea just to collect the item. What did I do to recieve this kind of treatment? Can you treat me better?

The thing that I am most pissed off with is to get someone to check if i were feigning ill. CRAP! Do you think the doctor will give me MC if I were to feign it? DAmn Piss...

2006-05-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

***My Japanese Name Is...
***Kiyoshi Shigenoi

What's your Japanese Name?
http://www.blogthings.com/japanesenamegenerator/

2006-05-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, it have sure been quite some time since I last blog. I have been really busy for the past couple of weeks.

22 April 06 - 02 May 06
Had an enjoyable holiday with my ex camp mate. Now upon returning, they have all finish serving their liability in National Service. Currently, I am left alone in the office, dying of boredom. I am not at all motivated in coming back to work now. =(

03 May 06
I took MC to rest at home. I have been gorging myself in china during the trip. I guess I will really miss the food there. Really leading the kind of life rich kids are having… Eating in restaurants and shopping everyday. Haha! Everything is so cheap... I will definitely go back again.

04 May 06 - 05 May 06
I am getting old. At this very day, I have turned 22 yrs old. No longer the kid I used to be. I am really looking forward to settling down with someone stable. Wonder if that day will come soon...
Thank God, I didn't have to spend my birthday alone. Went to a KTV pub with a friend and she celebrated my birthday with me. She had forgotten that it was my birthday until we met up. Had a few drinks and heading home and slept throughout the rest of the day.

06 May 06 - 10 May 06
I have been striving hard to learn driving. TP was on the 11th May 06. Been almost 3 months since I last touch a driving wheel but surprisingly, I still manage to handle the car smoothly. Hate it when money have to come out of my pocket for driving... =( Am so broke...

11 May 06
Finally, the big day have come. Really looking forward to getting my class 3 license but sadly my dream didn't come true. Thunder started to roar when I was practicing and it really dampens my spirit. = ( I kept praying to Father to have favor on me. Hoping that it won't rain coz I failed the first time due to the bad weather. =(

Thankfully it didn't rain but guess my faith wasn't strong enough. Everything went smoothly without any glitches but the moment I drive out of the driving centre, things started to go wrong!!!
There were 2 idiots standing beside the zebra crossing. I stopped before the line waiting for the car in front to move out before I started following. But the 2 idiots didn't stood there talking. ==" and the darn TP said that I didn't stop to allow the pedestrians to cross!!! Sigh, really became devastated as I knew that that will definitely cost me my license but that's not the end. I met with more idiotic people when I just manage to move out. Sigh... and that's it.
I bid goodbye to my driving license and waits for another chance. =~(

2006-02-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

Haven't blog for a long long time now. Been really busy with the closure of Financial Year. I've tried on a site that provide quite an accurate reading of my personality so I decided to share it.. here goes... =)

the Observer

Test finished! you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE.
"I need to understand the world"

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

Be independent, not clingy. Speak in a straightforward and brief manner. I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts. Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable. Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity. If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place. don't come on like a bulldozer. Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a Five

standing back and viewing life objectively coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure not being caught up in material possessions and status being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Five
being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Fives as Children Often

spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on have a few special friends rather than many are very bright and curious and do well in school have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information assume a poker face in order not to look afraid are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Fives as Parents

are often kind, perceptive, and devoted are sometimes authoritarian and demanding may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Try it at http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=12721960859055255705

2006-01-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Loneliness.
Life is starting to get really bored in camp. Matthew has ORD and in 46 days time, Frank too is going to be relief from service in 46 working days time. Life is going to be really boring in camp soon.

Last Friday, it was Texas last day in my unit. He is going to be posted out to somewhere else. Guess life is really going to be hard after this good officer leaves. In camp, there aren't really hardworking officer around and less to mention helping me out. There are a lot of works supposing to be handled by those officers but “lucky” me who got chosen to clear the shit out of the toilet bowl.

There are just so many changes in camp for the past few months. Those people that were so helpful had all resign else were all posted out. Guess, it really doesn't pay to be nice.
Sigh~

No doubt that I learned a lot during the past year of service in camp but i feels that I am really underpaid and without recognition. I surely hope that after the efforts I put in my work, I will at least get promoted to a Finance Specialist. In fact, the workload I dealt with are those of the officers job scope.

I being a LCP (Lan Jiao Peng) doesn't really hold a lot of authority in camp but thankfully my boss is kind of hold some authority in camp which makes work a lot easier. I can't really imagine even he doesn't hold much authority then I’m a goner for sure.

Last Friday, the biggest shot in camp actually had a little chat with me. Thanks to God’s grace. I was asked to collect something on behalf of my boss from him. While waiting, BIG SHOT asked me into his office and asked me to introduce myself. He hadn't really met me before but was aware of my job scope. We had a short chat for about 5-10mins in his office pertaining to my workload in camp and my family.

I have always heard about BIG SHOT being a friendly guy but haven't really seen it myself until last Friday. He is really a nice and friendly man. Most importantly, he recognises the effort we put in our work. Thanks GOD for the recognition HE induced in BIG SHOT.

I surely hope that's things will work out well for me in camp for another >365 working days.

2006-01-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

Well, it have been raining so much these few days. Raining is good, it's a blessing from GOD. How I wish I am 15yrs old, where I can just forget everything happening around me and be in the rain. Teenagers playing in the rain surely doesn't attract that much attention compare to an adult. Getting old means having privilleges taken away from you. =(

I really dun know how to handle my life now. Somehow I really felt that my freedom is taken away from me since I enlisted. I really wish to get my life back. Yesterday is Matthew ROD date, can really see from there that he is extremely happy to regain his freedom. Serving have made me feel like a bird lock up in the cage. No matter how hard I tried, I can't get out of liability but to unwillingly concede to fate. Sadly, I am left with no choice but to look on the brighter side of life.

*10months and 18 days to FREEDOM.

2005-12-27T02:35:00.000-08:00

My color is BLACK.

It's seems like this weblink below is the trend now. If not, why have I received more than 10 friends sending this link to try out. Well, I have tried it out and it decipher my colour as BLACK.

http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1108&type=t --> Do give it a try.. :)

Here's my results:

BlackYour color is black. The color of night.

Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some.

Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

2005-12-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

Life is a Joke.

Life is really a joke, there are just so many things in life beyond our control. Even how careful you are in planning your future, things just might not turn out your way. Close your eyes and look into the future; what do you see in 10 years down the road? Of course if you are optimistic, you will see yourself having a prospective career, commiting in a good relationship, ready to get married, have a house of your own and start a happy family.

Well, perhaps the stating "Life is a joke" sounds too pessimistic about life. I have heard people who make comment about, "your own life is in your hand". How true do you think of this statement?

I have a friend of mine who is undergoing the worst could have happen in his life and I seriously understand that he is never going to forget this.

Months back or even years back I could see that his future was bright; he have the passion in IT and he is very keen broadening his knowledge in this field. But this thing that he is going through now is going to change everything he had.

I seriously pray that his future will not be ruin by this incident and that his will overcome this terrible nightmare. Of course I understand that we should always have a optimistic mentality and live happily. Hmmm.. my future will be bright and wonderful as it is in My heavenly father hands. =) Yeah!!!

2005-12-12T01:49:00.000-08:00

Well, it's 5.47pm now and I'm still in camp. My friend got arrowed to some PowerPoint presentation and it got to be done by tomorrow morning. Duhz.. Not leaving with much choice, he got to stay back and complete the work for my boss. Since I have no other commitment, I've decided to stay and accompany him.

He is living nearby my place, so at least I will have company on the way home. Guess his work will only be completed ard 6.30pm, hopefully. Otherwise, I wouldn't know what time will I reach home. Usually, there will be shuttle bus that pick and send us through and fro from the ferry terminal and Pasir Ris interchange at certain timing. But since we are staying late this time, I guess we will have to take public transport back home. =S

Weekend ended with a flash. Went clubbing with my friends on Saturday, wasn't really in the mood to club that night but since he (Eddie) is going to be a member at the club, he will be able to bring us in waving the cover charge.

Being a member to the club wasn't cheap. It’s $248 for a bottle of Chivas Regal + a bottle of red wine + 2 flask of soft drinks. Damn expensive~
The funny thing is Eddie drink nothing but vodka. Therefore, the bottles are actually for our consumption. Felt kinda bad.. Since the red wine can't be kept in the club, another of my friend. Both of us finish the red wine evenly and cleared 1/3 of the Chivas.

Sadly, there aren't many pretty girls around in the club. =( I guess all the pretty girls went to zouk out instead.

I drank like nobody business and tried hard to enjoy myself at the club but sadness overwhelms the happening atmosphere. Just can't get over some issues.. Went home and knocked out instantly when I reached home and my clothes are stench with alcohol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sunday~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reached home at ard 4 plus 5am after clubbing and knocked out instantly. Slept till about 11am and woke up as I was meeting my friends at Charlton Hotel for Dim Sum cum lunch. It was to celebrate Texas's birthday. Thereafter, we headed down to Party World for KTV session. Well, I'm learning how to sing Chinese songs from them. Most of the songs I listen to are all from the FM stations. Hence, I only know those more popular songs the DJs played in the stations.

Singing isn't an easy task; at least for me Haha! I can barely keep up with the lyrics. There are even some words that I have never come across with. Frankly speaking, I suck in this. Haha! Poor guys~ have to sit in and listen to me (sound like slaughtering of chicken) Haha!

Well, everyone have a specialty in life and singing is definitely not my cup of tea. Haha! Funny fact, I was asked to join the school choir when I was in primary school. Guess if I were to join the choir things might turn out differently. I might end up being more of sissy. Haha! But thankfully, my choice was to join the athlete team instead. =P

After the KTV session, I headed down to SIMEI for dinner with my parents. When I reached SIMEI, I received a sms from Yvonne. Someone I have not contacted for 2 years due to some misunderstanding. We have got each other contact number recently through another friend.
Finally, decided to meet up with her in town. Headed back to town after dinner, it was kinda rush though.

Seriously speaking, if I wasn't meeting lady, I wouldn’t bother to head back to town. Can you imagine the tedious journey? I finish dinner halfway, headed to and fro town all within 3 hours. Almost puke out my dinner while heading back to town. =S

She really changed a lot since I last met her. Guess time really changes people. Each one of us changes to adapt into the environment we are in. Even animals and cells evolve to fit into the environment from ten of thousands years back. Guess the changes in her will result in a better and brighter future ahead of her.

Sometimes, I really wish to see what lies ahead of me after NS. If given a choice, I wonder do I have the courage to face the fact of my future. How about you ppl out there, if given a choice, will you look into your future? It's 6.37pm now and his PowerPoint slides have not been completed. Guess we can only book out in the 7pm boat and take public transport home. =X

That's all folks~

Let my heart reside in Peace and Harmony.

2005-12-08T22:54:00.000-08:00

Come to think of it, it have been years since i last went on an local outing with my parents and sisters. Well, thank GOD on tuesday I have got the chance to accompany them to the JURONG BIRD PARK.

I actually woke up quite early so that I won't be late for work. Usually I will only wake up ard 5.50 - 6am in order to catch the bus but this time round, I actually woke up at 5.40am. As usual I changed and take my own sweet time to the bus stop. Hmmm... from here, poeple must be thinking that I missed the bus, wrong~ In fact, i waited 10mins for the bus to arrived. Just when the bus was arriving in the terminal, then i realized that i forgot to bring my camp pass. Duhz... Sian 1/2 liao.. coz without the camp pass, i will definitely not be allow to board the shuttle bus to the ferry terminal. Left with not much choices, I went over to the bus stop where there's bus 89 to the ferry terminal. Time flies but the bus crawls by then I'm surely going to be late. So might as well applied leave for that day.

I can't believe that I just left straight for home. With my carefully planning my time so that i won't be late but in return, I applied leave. Haha~ But I seriously believe that it was all predestinated by the LORD. Just when i stepped home, I was kinda surprise to see both my parent at home with my youger sister. As seldom both my parents' off day falls on the same day. Just when i make myself comfy to get back to sleep, my mum actually asked me if I want to join them to the Bird Park. This really surprised me... But well, end of the day, i really enjoyed the company of my family. Will post some pictures when i get home. =)

2005-12-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

I come across this e-mail with the attachment using of han yu pin yin and analyse the character of the person. This is very interesting as my Han yu pin yin name is so called given to me with the help of a taoist. But even though I am a Christian now, the fact can't change my name given to me by my parents.

THis is quite accurate. If you wish to have the attachment, can always send me an e-mail to request for it @ xavier0505@yahoo.com.sg

#N/A
输入姓名的拼音: huang ying yi 2
你的性格水果: 西瓜
"西瓜男孩
◆个性
　　对他要求道德是没用的，因为他是个不会墨守成规的人。不过他能完成一般人做不到的困难任务，对拥有这样性格的他而言，是吉是凶就全凭当时的运势而定了。
◆恋爱·结婚倾向
　　即使他发誓「只爱你一个」，也不可以因此相信他。因为他至少会同时结交2～3个女朋友，而且不会有任何背叛不忠的感觉，这点即使在婚后也不会有所改变。
◆工作
　　因为他会为了成功而努力以赴，所以能够成为大企业家并名利双收，绝不会屈就于担任上班族。而且致力于工作时会摒除一切杂念，甚至到达废寝忘食的地步。
◆金钱运
　　他可说是怀抱着巨大财运而过生活的人，会不顾一切地储蓄，且具投资理财的观念，但若走错一步的话，财运恐有转变为负债的可能，因此请务必小心。
外遇指数★★★★★ 恋母情节指数★★ 嫉妒指数★
"

2005-12-04T23:19:00.000-08:00

I have finally completed the tv serial.. Ending was perfect.. Everyone was happy and the male lead (samuel) and the female lead (belle) desinated with fate became good friend. In the end, samuel married another girl (Zoe) that was in love with him instead.

Why do the scriptwriter have that kind of mentality that evenyone loves good ending? Why cant that writer expreience and have a reality check? There aren't always good ending in life. Life is a bitch.

Life is not always what we expect it to be but instead life often make fun of us. We are after all mere mortal and there is nothing that we can do to change fate.

Fate often make fun of us aka Twist of Fate.

It's true that if we human have the ability to control our fate, life will be in chaos. But can't we have 3 wishes throughout our life and redeem back what have been lost?

Just a few days ago, I witness death straight in the face. A motorist crash into a pickup and the motorist died instantly. Matthew pulled over the vehicle and we were there for 5 minutes. We tried calling hospital for an ambulance but the line was engaged. The scene was really bloody, with the motorist lying chest down in the puddle of blood..

My friend and I guess that his TIME on earth was up that's why he have to leave. He was only 24yrs old and I can roughly imagine how would his family feel of losing someone so dear to them. I have lost someone dear to me recently as well..

This is the life... We wouldn't know when will be the last chance that we will meet the very someone in our life.

*The sky above me is kinda of greyish now... =S

2005-11-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

Tri-Angel...

Wow, it have been some time since I last blog.

Hmmm... been watching TV serials at home these few days. Some oldies TV serial, about 2 years back. 冲上云霄。。。 This serial really caught my attention with a beautiful beginning... a story of a tri-angel.

A girl, Yee Shan was really into fate and believes that who ever can find this tri-angel will become the man of her life. In Rome, she met a Samuel, a pilot and her "man of her life". Sadly, due to misunderstanding the relationship didn't work out and the female lead got attached with samuel's best buddy and finally got married.

Only when they were married, did Samuel and Yee Shan realise about the misunderstanding. They sorted out the issue but Samuel didn't snatch her back from his best buddy instead ask her to let go of the past and moves on... there the story continues.
I really wonder if Yee Shan and Samuel will get together in the future... Will the fated lovers be seperated due to twist of fate?

我能会有一场烘烘烈烈的爱吗? Let it be in the hands of My Heavenly Father... =)

2005-11-05T08:12:00.000-08:00

I'm darn bored. I have been really sleeping like nobody business during the long holiday. It have been like 10 days since I last got to work and I have only been out like twice.

Once was a gathering with poly frenz to have dinner at cafe Cartel. Boy, the food was so "delicious". *Puke* Kaoz... I can definitely cook better man; with my eyes close. At least the day wasn't that bad, went to play pool and arcade after the dinner. Haha! The pool game was kind of dull, the girls purpose was to take pictures. Really kind of had fun that day. Only thing that spoil the day was the dinner.. YUckz.

There isn't much changes with my frenz, only difference is with joyce and amy. The change in their hairstyles. Haha! Amy went to have a goon du hair cut; like china doll and Joyce went to perm her hair. She tied up her newly perm hair which really look good. She look just like the 3 bear in korean show "Full house". Haha! If you have watch "Full house" you will know what am I refering to...

She still look good great. Only difference is that her taste drop. Haha! I know she will be reading this.. but well, tis is my blog. =P

The other outing was with my clubbing khakis, the harloween night. As you can see from the pictures I posted. I was preparing to have lots of fun that night but things didnt work out that well. The Crowd at zouk is like crazy man, the queue is damn bloody long loh. Like queuing for free money like that.. No choice but to head down to Dbl O that night which sucks to the core. The girls there are so CHIO loh... Wasted my 42 bucks there. Didn't even stay for an hour there.. haha! Damn tu lan! Sigh..

For the rest of my days, I stayed at home and sleep like nobody business. haha! Really knock out whenever I have nothing to do man. No activities, leading a boring life. Went jogging during late evenings when the TV programmes sucks.

Been visiting granny other than sleeping at home. Brought her for her check up this morning. Thank GOD that I was there man.. She blacked out after her check up and I was there to hold her up, otherwise she would have fallen onto the ground.

Oh... Did i mention that the bill she chalked up during her 2 weeks stay in the hospital? It was a hefty sum of $30k+, my gosh! My cousin literally maxed out every credit cards she have got. My family did help out a little but $30k is really alot. But I know FATHER will lead us out of this bill pretty soon.

Well, it's almost 1am now. Hmmm... got to go and zzz le. got to wake up early for service tomolo.
Will update you guys again. =)

2005-11-03T21:29:00.000-08:00

On the right, Frank. Supposingly he is dress up as the wizard. Choose to Strip down to earthy form and club as the entry to zouk was too long

2005-11-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

Mutating into Vampire

2005-11-03T21:18:00.000-08:00

Clubbing Khakis. (Matthew aka Kungfu master, Jervis aka Beef jerky and Me)

2005-11-03T21:15:00.000-08:00

Dress up for the night.

2005-11-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

Dread blogging.

Well, been a long time since I last blog. At least a week have gone... Been quite busy recently with camp stuffs; quite alot of things to procure for my unit. Thanks God for the long holidays that I'm able to stay at home and slack throughout. Been sleeping alot recently coz there isn't much for me to do either.

Thankfully, granny was discharged on monday. I went over to visit her and found out that she can be discharged on that day. I helped out in bringing her back home and buying her lunch before I headed for home. Once I reached home, I fall flat onto my bed and zzz till 11pm before I was awaken by my growling stomach.

Thanks for the holidays coz I kinda of enjoy myself and rest well. Still for 2 more days to go before heading back to camp and work like a slave. That's all for now.. Will upload some interesting pictures of my 1st Harloween Night.

2005-10-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

I went over to visit granny after dispatching some documents. It has been 2 days after her operation and I have not visited her since. Upon arrival the hospital, I was pretty glad to see her looking much healthier. She has been lying in bed for 7 days now and hasn’t been out of her bed. Hence, I gave her a good massage so that her blood will circulate and she wouldn’t feel so numb.

Shortly after, I was chatting with my Small aunt and found out from her that my mum’s brother had passed away. I was bewildered; why wasn’t I informed by my mum instead. I called up my mum to check if it is true and found out that it was my 3rd uncle who passed on.

Immediately, I thought of going down to help out in his funeral but was taken aback by my aunt statement. She told me that if I were to help out in the funeral, I am not supposed to visit granny thereafter. It’s the Chinese traditional thinking that when you visited a funeral, it will bring along something bad. Hence, it is not advisable to visit granny.

Of course I do not believe in all the myths but I sure wouldn’t anyone to be angry with me. So I’ll heed their advice and will only visit granny upon her discharge.

When I was to leave the hospital, there was a sudden change in weather. Lightning was piercing the sky, thunder roar so loudly that I can feel vibration on the glass panel that I'm resting on. It's somehow like the scene of "War of the World". Haha!

The downpour lasted for around 30min before I can set off to my 3rd uncle place. It was really a tough decision; to choose between visiting granny and going over to mourn. But I choose going over my 3rd uncle place as this will be the last time I can visit him.

It has been close to 10yrs since I last met him. We did not keep in contact ever since my family shifted out of Tampines. We were all busy with our individual stuffs. Even during New Year, we never visited each other. Sigh...

I know that he is in GOD hands now. He has found peace and is relieved from the sufferings from the heart disease and diabetic he had.

Amen.

2005-10-23T08:52:00.000-07:00

Operation

It was found out on Saturday afternoon that Granny had cancer. As recommended by the doctor, she underwent a scope into her stomach and found out that there are cancerous cells located somewhere near her rectum.
When we learnt about the news, all of us were lost upon receiving the news from the doctor after the scope. We were all thinking that granny is so old now and still have to go through all these suffering. During the scope, she also underwent a couple of tests and scans. Thank GOD that her cancer is intact in her large intestine and the doctor strongly recommends her to undergo a surgery before its spreads.

We were all really worried if her body can undergo the surgery. She is 88 years old after all. Thank GOD that the tests she undergo shows that she is very strong and hardy. =) As compared to any of us; youngsters.

We only had a few hours to make the decision as it is better to rectify the problem earlier so that she wouldn’t have to undergo the pain and suffering again. We really spent a lot of time going through all the possible scenarios and consulted the surgeon for the answers. He is really confident that granny operation will be success; <95% chance.

Upon receiving the answers from him, we came to a conclusion to let granny go for the surgery. We are really convinced by the surgeon and have trust in him. Of course we also pray hard for granny safety as we know that FATHER will shower her with blessings and place His healing hands on her.

2005-10-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

Granny's in ICU... =(

I was so tired that I knocked out instantly when I reach home after my visit in the hospital. Somehow or rather, I woke up today remembering vaguely that someone informed me that granny was admitted into ICU ward. Throughout the day, I thought it was a bad dream I had. Only later than I realise that granny was really admitted to the ICU ward.

Upon receiving the call in the middle of the night, my sister came over my room and informed me the news. I thought I was actually dreaming then I knocked out again instantly. I'm a heavy sleeper and seldom will I be awaken during my sleep. Hence, my sister make her way to the hospital on her own.

Before her admission into the ICU ward, she was groaning in pain and the doctor gave her a dose of painkiller. The medication was too strong for granny and her heartbeat stopped for a while. Thank GOD that she revived after the emergency.

I went down to visit granny after work and got a glimsp of her report. It was found out that she have a cyst measuring 7.5cm x 6.5cm located at her gall bladder. =( There were so many tubes on granny while she's lying on her bed. It's really sadden me to see the sight that she have to undergo the pain. =`(

We were sitting down in the lobby as was granny asleep and I was asked by my aunts where is my gf...

It's official now, I told them that she found someone better and move on... Actually, it was granny who asked if Joyce had visted her. Granny really loves her alot, even though it was just a simple greeting of "ah ma" whenever Joyce sees her. But the simple greeting surely will bring a smile on granny face.

At that moment, I felt kind of useless; Not being able to bring her grandson-in-law to visit her. Really regret of not treasuring and cherishing when I had the chance to. =S
I guess it was because she is the first gf that I have brought home to visit granny, that's why she left such a deep impression with granny. Perhaps, Joyce is really an apple to granny's eyes.

Nothing matters anymore...

I just granny will recover soon and stay healthy always. =)

2005-10-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

Received a message from cousin yesterday and informing that granny is ill. She was admitted into hospital as she is suffering from stomach. I actually thought it was just a minor aliment and went down to visit her after work.

Thankfully, Matthew was heading to his dad’s shop located somewhere near the hospital so I managed to hitch a ride from him. When I reached the hospital, I see the uneasiness on my aunts and uncles face. Later then I found out that granny had low blood count and she have stones in her gall bladder.

I stayed besides her all the while, praying to Lord to heal her and prevent the viruses from her. She was groaning with pain and could not lie still in bed. I really felt useless at that moment as I was of not help. = (

A blood transfusion is needed to be performed on granny due to her low blood count. But before the doctor agrees to do the blood transfusion, he strongly recommends that granny undergo a scope of her stomach.

My uncles and aunts know for granny age to undergo a scope will be plain suffering and inform the doctor that we wish her to forgo the scope. They got reprimanded in return; sort of “threatened” that unless granny undergo the scope or he will not do the blood transfusion and that granny will be discharged the very next day. =(

We later realize that the doctor action was also for the benefits of granny as he will only be able to find out the actual caused of her illness.

Granny took a nap after an injection which relieves her of the pain.

Slightly later, my sister arrived and we stayed beside her bed just in case she needed anything. I was sitting beside her bed watching her sleep, studying her face and features.

Granny’s face is full of wrinkles; those are trails of age that leave on her. It was only yesterday then I found out about her age, 88 years old.

And I found a striking resemblance between her and my dad; her nose. Family heritage~
I just hope that granny will recover soon.

2005-10-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

Insomnia

Went for my specialist check up this afternoon and found out that the pressure in my eye have reduce, which is Great news. =) Well, it’s the beginning of His healing and I know that I will regain my vision in no time. =D

I was given new drugs for treatment, 7 different kinds in total. Even the pharmacist asked if I can remember the individual use of each medication. Sigh, guess I must get use to them and let Father Do the healing. =

I kind of starting to dread blogging already…

I have got nothing interesting to update about my life. Reason why I am blogging now is due to insomnia. I think it’s perhaps I am not used to going to sleep without chatting with someone over the phone. It have become a habit I developed since I was with my ex. Well, guess I have to overcome loneliness le…

I’m waiting for the right girl to come along… May God bless me…

Gotta sleep le.. still got to wake up early tomolo.. sianz... Nite allz...

2005-10-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

Been some time since I last blogged. Really had a busy week, didn’t really have time to sit in front of the computer, leaving down tracks of my life in my blog.

I was attending WITs course in Toa Payoh Hub for 2 days. Although I have learnt about WITs during poly days, I have returned everything taught to me upon receiving the diploma. This is kind of a refresher course for me.

Attending the course sure has its advantages; I get to wake up late as the location was kind of near my place. Not mentioning about the long breaks, good food we had as compared to camp food. Even though we got to pay for our lunch, it was all worth it. Hehe..

Since I was in the area, I called up my ex-gf and met her up for dinner. Upon meeting, we choose a spot and had dinner. We didn't really have much to chat about.
After dinner, we roamed around the shopping complex. Happy memories flash by as we used to hang out in the area. Shortly after, she initiated to head for home as she was tired from her day at work therefore I sent her home.

Upon reaching her void deck, I handed her a gift I've done myself, an ambigram I design with her name. It was no easy task designing an ambigram, I spent hours thinking and designing before settling down with the final design. I didn't manage to get a picture of my artwork though; otherwise I'll put it up on my blog for yr critics. Anyway, I made a little request from her to take a picture of the ambigram and send it to me. I will post it up if I ever have a chance to get hold of the picture. =)

2005-10-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hardwork paid off.

2005-10-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

These are the prized collection I once treasured but now, it's all lying in my cupboard. I used to work so hard to earn these trophies.

2005-10-05T02:08:00.000-07:00

NIP TUCK

Hmmm... Ever thought of undergoing cosmetic surgery? Examples, Nose job, double eyelids, liposuction, etc.

Firstly, I would want to get my nose done. I am so not satisfied with my nose; it's kind of bulky. Heh =S I wish to have a sharp and pointed nose. =P

I would also wish to have double eyelids. If you noticed, I actually have a scar on my left eyelid. A scar left by a kitten when I was younger, much younger. = ( Now, it seem as though I have double eyelid on my left eye. Sad....

Of course to be perfect, I would need to put on 20 pound of mass. Sigh, I am seriously below ideal BMI. No matter how much I eat, my metabolism seems to burn the food in a faster rate. =( I tried drinking milk with egg in it, tried taking oats when I'm feeling a little hungry but everything just doesn't seems to work.

Guess, I have to munch my way throughout my NS life. =)

I certainly look better when I was younger. Haha!

THis is the link to my clip on the day I turned 18 yr old.
--> http://youtube.com/watch.php?v=2s62mz2M0G8

But I got to admit, I look kind of Beng then. Heh! I was young once what.. =P

2005-10-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

Prized Collection

“On your mark, get set, bang!” All the athletes ran towards the finishing line with all their might… I was one of them…

I got my first trophy when I was 9, from then on trophies became my collection. Ever since I had my first trophy, I was picked and was added into the Athlete Team.

I was trained and taught with skill to develop myself. Ever since then I trained hard to compete in competition. Thrice a week we would train in stadium, trying hard to clock the best timing. I was the leader of the pack while training, always leaving trail of track for them to catch up.

I was the best in the team. I never had to slow down my pace in order for other to catch up with me. As an athlete, you goal is to clear the finishing line as soon as possible.

Trophies were the motivation towards my goal.

The glorious day in school is always the Sports Meet. I would participate in numerous events and excel in them. I guess the only thing I can excel in is Sports. It’s just too bad Sport School wasn’t developed then, things would be different otherwise.

I’ll take a picture of my prized collection and post it some other day. =)

The matter of fact that I was an athlete, I never slow down my pace for anyone. I never have the mentality of slowing down and waiting for someone. Perhaps, the competitive spirit still lingers in me. Even when I go jogging with friends, we would meet up and I’ll just head on with my pace unless they are able to keep up.

I learnt a lot after my ex broke up with me… I learn about being patient and understanding, etc.

Over last week, I went jogging with my sister and a friend on 2 different days. It was then, I learnt to slow down according to their pace. Although I really felt that I’m jogging on the spot but overall, it’s kind of nice to have a companion.

=)

2005-10-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Valley of Arts.

Yesterday night was the most enjoyable night throughout my life. There was an event held at ChinaBlack; Valley of Arts.

I’m not that artistic to join in this kind of event. It just that my friend’s hubby-to-be was one of the organizer and she is assisting in promotion. In support of my friend, I went down with a couple of colleagues for the fun of it.

The impression of the event wasn’t really well received when we first reached the place. There isn’t much crowd to go along with and was certainly an event for artistic people to participate.

There were performance by people who were famous in the circle of arts whom we never heard of. Performance such as music and dances, etc. Thankfully, things got a little better at the later part of the event. People start pouring in as the time went by and by the end of the event, the whole place was filled with crowd.

After the event, the club was open to public and the place starts to get real happening. Pretty babes start filling the club and the atmosphere become really hot. We were on the dance floor and Jervis spotted some chicks dancing at a corner. Haha! Closer and closer we danced till the girls were joined by a guy. A chance wasted for Jervis to perform. =P We really intoxicate our mind with the alcohol and dance to our content. To the extent that I actually felt real breathless and got to take a breather at a corner.

While resting in a corner, I noticed a girl which really interests me. Her moves were exceptionally sexy. She never leaves my sight that night. It’s a pity that she was not alone. If only she was alone, I might just stepped up and try to know her after gulping more shots. After all, I’m single now… =P

Time flies when we were enjoying. Sooner than we realize, it was already midnight. Jervis got some interesting program of his own. Leaving me, Frank and Texas enjoying ourselves in the club. Too bad Jervis left early when the fun was just starting. We continued with the booze and starting to feel real HIGH! To the extent that we went up on the peak of the platform. =)

I really dance and booze to my limit that night; a night with purity of Fun. =D

2005-09-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

Took a test.. How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to take more than give in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How true is that?? haha!

2005-09-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

Arggggh! The spins in my head…

Had a hectic day, so busy that I hardly had a minuteto take a wink. I didn’t even keep track of the timeand sooner than I realize, it was time to book out.

Sadly, life’s just isn’t fair… Official time to bookout was by 4.45pm and we were allow off the island by5pm but it just isn’t like any other day. =(

I left the island by 4pm. You must think that it isn’tthat bad right? But wrong, left to settle some stuffsin another unit. Luckily, I managed to hitch a ride tothe unit thus being able shorten the time frame.Otherwise, the poor me will not even reached home tillnow. Thank GOD.

Went over to another unit to raise a Purchase Order;amounting to half a million. You didn’t read itwrongly, it’s half a million on a purchase order. Ifyou read my earlier tag, you would have seen that mysuperior is a “Million dollar Man” and I’m his key tothe safe. =S If only the money belongs to me… That’llbe GREAT!

Have got audit checks coming up therefore everyone ofus is preparing to fight the war. =( Sigh~ I just hope that everything will turns out well.Earlier in the morning while I was sitting in front ofmy I-net computer, my superior walked in and mention,“You all better close your blogs.” What the…

It’s not as if we are doing something illegal or iscriticizing about anything. Sigh~ Anyway, the accessto blogger have been denied ever since the incidentwhereby someone got charged due to blogging. =S

Well, at least I still can blog from home. =P So, he isn’t going to stop me from blogging. Hah!

2005-09-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

MOOD ANALYSIS TEST RESULTS

You are longing for some love and affection at thistime - not that you have been deprived of tenderloving care - but there are times when everyone needsto try something new or to go 'somewhere' else toperhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige -be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are,at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feelthat it is essential that you break down anyopposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows.You know that you are quite capable of achieving thisset goal because you have to and because it isessential to your self esteem.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich -to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let therest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can'tdo just that - you have to face up to reality. Alittle peace and quiet would be most acceptable atthis time but if only one could turn a blind eye tothe problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day andwho knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) thatcould be the first day of the rest of your life!

Presently, you are experiencing stress because ofrestriction on your independence. You need and seekrespect from other people and it is essential thatthey appreciate you for yourself and not for what theywould like you to be. You have your own beliefs andconvictions and you would like to be respected forthem. You are anxious to avail yourself of everyopportunity that may come your way but nevertheless,come what may, you have the need to control your owndestiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavor to avoidcriticism. You want to do your own thing and to beable to decide what is right for you. You haveconsiderable personable charm - and this is used withconsiderable effect on those that keep your company.

Hey Guys and Girls, this is really accurate. SHould give it a try ->www.colorgenics.com

2005-09-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

22 September 2005

Organized a gathering session with my ex-colleagues from 5 yrs back. Aren’t I lucky to meet up with 3 ladies for dinner. =) it’s really nice chatting over dinner, everything seems like yesterday when we were working in Singtel. No stress, easy money and lots of fun.

Usually we would meet up twice a year but last year was an exception as all of us was busy with our individual life. We have all graduated from our studies and they have stepped out into the society. I was listening to their feedback on the society and can conclude that life is tough in the working world. Bitching, back stabbers and office politics are the norms in office environment. Sound so scary…

I have been out working ever since secondary school and I’m bless with landing myself with great jobs. Not the mention having a bunch of good colleagues to spend my time with. Superiors also treat me well and have recognize my potential and existence in the companies. =) Really got to thank GOD. I sure hope that my future will also be as smooth and have plenty of great opportunities lying ahead.

It is sure nice to meet up with friends once in a while. Lots of bits and pieces in life to catch up on. I sure hope that this friendship will go on forever. =)

24 September 2005

Received a call this morning, it was one of my ex-girlfriend. She is dropping by my area, so we met up for breakfast. She is the only ex-girlfriend who kept in contact with me after we broke up. I guess the others just don’t wish to see my existence in their life anymore.

Hmmm… guess I kind of ruin their life when they were with me. They have all changed drastically after the broke up. Some pick up smoking, tattoos, piercing, etc. They were such good girls when I knew them. Well, maybe I am thinking too highly of myself to think their changes comes under my bad influence. But come to think of it, the ex I met up today did mention that it was due to my bad influence that she have gone through these stuffs. I seriously am in doubt if I was such a bad influence.

Karma do happens, look at me now. I got abandoned this time round. =S Well, all man/women for themselves.

Say me self complacent but I seriously thinks that I have no lack of criteria to seek for another girlfriend. But deep within, I’m sort of waiting.

Waiting for the right girl to come along…

Everything do happen for a reason and it will not be reveal to us. But what Father have ahead of us is definitely something better. We some times got to hope and have faith; everyday that passes bring us a day closer to something better.

We must have both FAITH and HOPE.

I understand from a pastor that HOPE in the bible is when you know that something like that will happen. You don’t just hope for some things to happen. Instead “HOPE” because you know that it will happen.

I dun know if you will understand my explanation in my words. But I sure understood those words that the pastor said. Perhaps that’s why he is the messenger of GOD. =)

All in all, staying happy is the things to be.. =D

2005-09-21T03:51:00.000-07:00

Physic Reading --> Damn accurate!!!

here is what has come out of my analysis:You can also expect some very positive financial changes in your life during this important period. It seems that one very important opportunity will be made to you and this opportunity is linked to an unexpected sum of money.

As a matter of fact your astral configuration shows me that this sum of money should allow you to finish a project which you have been thinking about for a long time.
3 main points stand out clearly:
- first of all, you must realize why this period is so important for you and this is simply because these 72 days are linked to a large sum of money
- it seems that this sum of money will help you with your projects, ambitions and investments- at this stage of my analysis it is difficult to say exactly how you can get hold of this sum of money but it seems that it is linked to a notion of games or lottery when you least expect it.

This period is going to be very intense for you on many different levels and particularly as far as your love-life is concerned. You can expect a very important element of your past to surface, this is someone who you have loved and who you have shared your life with but who isn't necessarily a part of your life at this time (even if they are very close to your heart and mind).

This Transit will bring you some great news and intense joy concerning your love-life and a very particuliar moment of this Transit will help you to acheive greater harmony and happiness than you feel at the moment.

I also want to let you know that I have felt something very strong about you and I want to tell you a little more about this and to tell you exactly what I have perceived about you Xavier:

You know that you are currently in a very interesting period in your life and you feel that depe within you are important changes that are just waiting to happen in your life. (you do in fact need these changes to take place). Even if you are young you still have a certain nostalgia for moments of the past which you have lived through and which were particularly intense for you. Even if you are someone who is particularly courageous and you have a great deal of qualities I know that just a short time ago you wanted to test and prove things in relation to this other person by adopting certain false acts of bravado.

You wanted to affirm your personality and prove something. As far as your personality is concerned you are a person with fresh and innovative ideas and are not willing to settle for what others tell you. You have to see things for yourself and if you don't like what you see then you will change it.

Recently you have been energized by thoughts of exciting change, notably concerning someone who is very close to you and who counted a lot for you but through fear you have not yet acted. You are terrified of failing and making the wrong choice.

You are aware that you have been given certain talents... very special talents, unique only to you and while you have known of these abilities you haven't yet fully acted on them up to now. As a matter of fact I can quite clearly see that you have a great deal of latent or unrealized potential but you are sometimes frustrated with the fact that others don't always recognize this.

I feel that you have a complex and rich personality and that you often have difficulties showing all the different facettes of this personality to the people around you. This has often caused problems in your relationships, particularly as far as your love life is concerned. At the moment you ask yourself a great deal of questions about your personal life - whether that be about your professional future or more particularly about your love life or even your financial life.

You want to make good choices in all of these areas of your life, to be in just the right place at the right time to seize these valuable opportunities and above all not to let them pass you by because you are impatient that things evolve quickly. This is exactly what is going to happen during the period of this Transit which will bring a number of very important changes into your life.

These are the planetary positions Xavier at the precise moment of your birth, the 5 May 1984:
Sun 44°40'57.1250
Moon 90°18'23.6666
Mercury 26°18'55.9978
Venus 33°26'21.4117
Mars 233°Jupiter 282°55'
Saturn 222°57'25.7871
Uranus 252°39'23.3249
Neptune 271°
Pluto 210°21'

You can try it out at www.aboutastro.com

2005-09-21T03:46:00.000-07:00

White Flag

I guess it’s only a matter of time before I collapse and surrender myself. My life is really tough in camp. It is not physical stress but mentally. There’s a saying,” you pay peanuts, you get monkey”. Sometimes, I really wish that I am serving the same way as others.

My life here is really stressed up. You may see that I’m online most of the time, seems like there isn’t much for me to do, right? But in fact, when there are things that need to be done, they come in loads and are stressful.

My boss considers himself as a million dollar man. Reason being that he is allocated with million of dollars for the camp annually and I just so happen to be “the million dollar man assistant”. In fact, I’m equivalent to the key to his safe. =( To maintain and keep tracks of his budget, raise the purchase requests that are required and clear lots of shitty things for him.

It is not that I am unable to handle the workload. But I can’t handle his way in treating us, his assistants. If you wish to find out how he treated all of us, you can try reading my friends, frank and matthew blog, I’m considered lucky among them as boss have not start to blast at me just yet. Perhaps I am handling his finance, that maybe the reason.

Beginning from next week, life is going to be real tough. How tough you might ask? Hmmm… workload going to increase, responsibilities going to increase and budget is going to increase. All the above mentioned stuff is going to increase but not my pay.
I am being paid $370 to cover a $3000-$5000 job scope. It sucks!

Sigh~ I was blogging half way and was called into a meeting. I’ve got no mood to finish blogging this topic already. Will continue again…

2005-09-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

Conversation with M (topic over J) =P

Had a conversation with M (My old friend) today and she was advising me to treat my future girlfriend better in the future. In fact, M had a conversation with J (my ex) today. M told me that she read my blog and was telling me about how she feels about my relationship with J, that I ought to cherish her in the beginning so that things won’t turn out this way.

Shortly after the conversation, I realize that it wasn’t M own thoughts about how I should have treated J in the past. I’m not really sure but I believe that those were J’s complains about me. Hmmm… We did come across about a point about me always criticizing about J; her figure, the books she read, etc. In fact, I have already realize and loves her for who she is a few months ago.

I have stopped criticizing about her and even encourage her. Whenever I stepped into the library, I would have asked if she have anything she wishes to borrow and would help her. Whenever I went downstairs for a walk, I would ask her if she wants anything to munch on. I would offer to buy her ice kachang or waffles when she’s around. There is a point which M said that enlighten me, what is a few months of loves during 4 yrs of relationship.

I have to agree that things are too late to make amends therefore she made the choice to leave me. Actually, I have gotten over J a week ago. I have deleted her contact and blocked her from my msn and have start moving on in life. Whenever I see her sounded so happy in moving on, there is a sharp pain in me. I was told why suffer when I can delete her from msn and eventually I did.

I wasn’t mature enough in handling my relationship with J before. We were only 17 when we started hanging out together. I have always told her that we met too early otherwise, things will be perfect. At the age of 17 to 20, getting married sounded like digging your own grave. It was only when I was turning 21, I realize how much she meant to me and what a perfect wife she will be. Everything was too late then…

If you have read my previous blog, you will know how much she meant to me. A couple of friends told me that they were touched by my entries. But sadly, it didn’t touch her. As the matter of fact, she broke my heart once more when I learnt that she was attached in less than a month.

Sigh~ let’s put my painful past behind… don’t really wish to talk about it anymore.

Moving on…

M and I sort of had a debate about guys and girl. She told me that J was with his new beau who is 26 yrs old and is of mature age of treating her better but I didn’t think that age is requirement in treating a relationship.

I have come across a ladder theory which define a male and a female. It’s an interesting topic discussing that female have 2 ladders, 1 is real ladder and the other is friend’s ladder. Whereas, male have only 1 ladders and that is the motivation for male. Trust me, the guy who wrote this spend a lot of efforts researching. It is so damn true about his ladder theory even some female acknowledge it.

M was telling me that she had met some nice guys before and that good guys exist. True! I got to agree to that. Good guys do exist but it doesn’t mean that they have 2 ladders. =P

Keen to understand more about the ladder theory à
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

In short, all the guys out there only have a ladder. No matter who you are, as long as you are a female, they have the intention of getting in your pants. =P It is just the matter of fact that which level you are situated at and that is for guys to know and for you to find out.

2005-09-13T03:55:00.000-07:00

Lost Lamb.

I feel like a lost lamb wondering in a big forest with dangers lurking behind every bushes and trees. I have no idea what will become of my life. Will I perish in the mouth of other predator or will I die in natural course.

I have decided to abandon my dream of becoming a pilot. I was reading an entry from another blogger and found out that being a pilot isn’t as easy as I thought. It isn’t that I’m bowing down to difficulties during the course. But rather, I think it is my health that poses a threat of being rejected from the screening tests.

I feels so suck up.

At times, I really wonders why does all these have to happen to me. What have I done wrong to deserve all these? As you might say once more, all things happen for a reason. But can you tell me what is the reason that I have to go through all these? I was once a healthy child with no illness. In fact, I would say I was a very healthy child.

Since young, I have a strong physical body. Viruses stay far away from me.

Sigh~

But why does all these bad things befall on me during the peak period of my life. I really feel so useless. Now, I even doubt my capabilities in becoming an air steward. What is my purpose in coming into earth. I believe each individual is born for a reason. Some are born to touch another’s life,. Others are born with various reasons. But what is mine?

The higher the hope I were to pinned in life, the harder I would fall. I have tasted this from my last relationship and it sucks indeed.

I’m a lost lamb in search for my shepherd to guide me through my life…

=S

2005-09-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

Evolution of human in near future.

Ever thought in 100 years away from now, how will us human being be like? I roughly know at least how human being will look like. =P

The eyes will be on the forehead, very pointed nose, big ears and a big mouth that stretches from ear to ear.

You must be thinking, why is it so… Hmmm… let me explain… Haha!

You see, all things will evolve when there is a change in the environment we are living in. If you have read documentary books, you would have seen how they predict us, human look like in the past. Haha! We were like Naked Ape walking around with hunchback. =P

My description of human in 100 years time has supporting reasons.

1.) Eyes on the forehead.
The numbers of snobbish human being are increasing. They think that they are above all man and don’t respect others. Who knows, in 1000 yrs time, they will have eyes like those of a snail. That will be gross…

2) Pointed noses
There are people who like to poke their nose into all things even though it is no business of theirs. If you ever watch an episode of Jimmy Neutron, he has a teacher who has a nose like that of a beak of a bird and she always ends her conversation with a freaking bird call. Haha!

3) Big ears and Mouth
Gossips~
If money is the root to all evil, then gossip must be the seed. =P There is a Chinese saying, “Beware the walls have ears”. Can you imagine… even enclose areas aren’t safe. Some goes to extends by listening through walls. That’s where the big ears come in handy. =P
And when there is juicy information, people can’t have the tendency to keep it within themselves. They will sure share it out with the rest. Haha!
Sooner than the information is leak out, all the facts will be twisted and will become craps.

This is why human nature is so scary~

I really wish that the description that I have imagine will never exist in the future.
Yucks~

2005-09-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

I still miss her. ..

I have told myself to move on with my life and is trying hard in doing so. However, it's seems that every little movements, every little places and every little details will lead me into the past. Even picking up a pair of chopsticks will make me miss her for it was her who corrected me in using chopsticks for meals. I'll even miss her when I see the IKEA catalogue. We used to travel to IKEA to do some window shopping and would stay there for hours.

Memories flash past like it was just yesterday...

Hmmm... Really miss her a lot. I have try to move on by occupying myself with chores and by meeting up with friends. I thought I have succeed by refraining myself from missing her at all time. But not today...

I received a call from Jeanne (my polymate). She called to invite me to celebrate her birthday on next Saturday and of course SHE will be there too. I told myself it doesn't matter even if SHE was there but my final decision wasn't so. I have decided not to join them as I’ll feel awkward if I were to see her there.

During the conversation, I asked how SHE was doing...

Me and my big mouth, i asked without thinking. Even though i know the answer would be SHE is happy with her life now. Stupid me! Sigh~

She is attached; of course she will be happy. With all the care and concerns from her new partner.

Somewhere buried deep within my heart, it hurts.
I somehow feel that the guy is only out to cheat her... Say I'm a green eyed monster or a Sore loser, whatever! He's a professional... The tactics he used to gaining her trust, etc.
I've used those once and ended up hurting up a number of girls which I really regretted. Hmmm... Retribution~

I know I should be wishing her well, but I guess there aren’t many people who can really wish her well, if they were in my situation. Sigh~

My granny asked about her when she came over yesterday and my reply was, "SHE is not free". My granny really likes her a lot... Always calling her ANG MO CHA BO. =)
Sigh~

Too bad her grandson is not fortunate enough to marrying ANG MO CHA BO to become grandson-in-law. = (Guess I'll just have to keep on hiding the truth until my granny finds out.

Life hasn’t really been the same after this incident. I just don't seem attracted the ladies easily. Even beautiful girls who walk pass, I would only take a glance at them and move on. Hmmm... But I’m still straight... =P No doubt about that.

My cousin, Carrince studied my palm while we were having a conversation last night. It seems that I'll live a pretty long life and have smooth career. Nothing really bad will happen.. =)
Let's just hope that she's right about it.

Life is already tough without my princess by my side...
When will fate bring my princess to me...
=S

2005-09-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

Promise...

Applied leave for today intending to send a friend off at the airport. She is going to Japan for training and will then officially be flying as an air stewardess.

I told her before that I'm going to send her off but her flight is really early. Her flight is 8am and she got to check into the departure gate by between 6.45 or 7.00. Well, i managed to reach the airport at 6.45 and make my way to the departure hall. I saw quite a number of her colleagues but didnt get to see her there. Guess she checked in early le.

But well, at least I kept my promise =). I was there at the airport, just that we were not fated to meet. Hmmm... 6 weeks before she return to Singapore but guess it'll be longer than 6 weeks to meet up with her again.

Hope she'll do well for her training and be on her offical flight. =)

2005-09-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

Marriage~

I admit to being a flirtatious guy in the past but things are different now. Perhaps I have outgrown my childish mentality and would seriously wish to start a family of my own.

2 of my friends are getting married in a month time. 1 of them is someone close to me like a sister. Though we never keep in contact often, I somehow have the feeling that she understands me. The other is a friend's friend; I hang out once in a while. His bride is 20 yrs old and he's 30.
The reason for both of my friends’ marriage is bounded by their sacred love seed.

Somehow, I wish that I can start a family of my own too. To have a wife whom I can give her my best, take care and shower her with all my love... to have children of our own. I have watched a couple of TV serials that is encouraging Singaporeans to conceive and sometimes wish to have a happy of my own.

Of course I understand the issues that will arise when starting a family and things would not be easy. To maintain a family, one needs to be financially stable, commit into the family and to provide care and love for the family.

The above mentioned all the necessities to start a family. I'm able to provide all but one at the moment; financially. Sigh~

1 yr 3 months, that's how long more before I can regain my freedom and start building my realm. But firstly, I will need to be in search for my princess.

2 month ago, I thought I had found my beloved princess and am willing to provide everything that she desire. However, things don’t work out well as I hope it to be. Hope that she have found her true love.

I wonder at times if there would be a chance for us to get back together~ But I know that I can only dream for that to happen.

I’m moving on with my life…

Hanged out with my campmates today; went to Charlton Hotel to have dim sum. The dim sum taste good. Drool~
Frank, thanks for the treat. =)

After the delicious dim sum, we went to Party World for KTV session. Haha!
I didn’t really wish to tag along at first as I don’t sing but there is no reason to reject. =) I’m glad I tagged along for the session, had fun there.

2005-09-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

THis is a personality test describing me:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx ---> Try this out.

2005-09-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

1 year 3 months, the chain (SAF) that is keeping me away from my freedom. How i wish that time flies during my service but sadly, there isn't much I could do.

Life is no longer exciting without a princess by my side. There isn't much laughter, joy or happiness induce into my life. Sadly, my once beloved princess have left and i'm in search for another, the right one.

Let's just hope that fate will bring her to me soon.

I've been thinking of my occupation upon ORD and would love to try out as an air steward. Thereafter, I would wish to try out as a pilot. If i can have my dream job in the future, that'll be great. Life doesn't always happen as we wish.

Let's just wish me luck. =)

2005-09-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

Forsaken, the black knight travelled in the battlefield, fighting out a realm of his own. In the meanwhile, he is waiting for fate to bring him his princess.

A princess that he will protect with his life。By giving her everything that he most possibly can. Soon, his life will not be in the battlefield anymore. Instead he will be immerse in happiness and love that fill his realm.

Woes and worries dare not to goes near him as only happiness will embrace him...