I still miss her. ..

I have told myself to move on with my life and is trying hard in doing so. However, it's seems that every little movements, every little places and every little details will lead me into the past. Even picking up a pair of chopsticks will make me miss her for it was her who corrected me in using chopsticks for meals. I'll even miss her when I see the IKEA catalogue. We used to travel to IKEA to do some window shopping and would stay there for hours.

Memories flash past like it was just yesterday...

Hmmm... Really miss her a lot. I have try to move on by occupying myself with chores and by meeting up with friends. I thought I have succeed by refraining myself from missing her at all time. But not today...

I received a call from Jeanne (my polymate). She called to invite me to celebrate her birthday on next Saturday and of course SHE will be there too. I told myself it doesn't matter even if SHE was there but my final decision wasn't so. I have decided not to join them as I’ll feel awkward if I were to see her there.

During the conversation, I asked how SHE was doing...

Me and my big mouth, i asked without thinking. Even though i know the answer would be SHE is happy with her life now. Stupid me! Sigh~

She is attached; of course she will be happy. With all the care and concerns from her new partner.

Somewhere buried deep within my heart, it hurts.
I somehow feel that the guy is only out to cheat her... Say I'm a green eyed monster or a Sore loser, whatever! He's a professional... The tactics he used to gaining her trust, etc.
I've used those once and ended up hurting up a number of girls which I really regretted. Hmmm... Retribution~

I know I should be wishing her well, but I guess there aren’t many people who can really wish her well, if they were in my situation. Sigh~

My granny asked about her when she came over yesterday and my reply was, "SHE is not free". My granny really likes her a lot... Always calling her ANG MO CHA BO. =)
Sigh~

Too bad her grandson is not fortunate enough to marrying ANG MO CHA BO to become grandson-in-law. = (Guess I'll just have to keep on hiding the truth until my granny finds out.

Life hasn’t really been the same after this incident. I just don't seem attracted the ladies easily. Even beautiful girls who walk pass, I would only take a glance at them and move on. Hmmm... But I’m still straight... =P No doubt about that.

My cousin, Carrince studied my palm while we were having a conversation last night. It seems that I'll live a pretty long life and have smooth career. Nothing really bad will happen.. =)
Let's just hope that she's right about it.

Life is already tough without my princess by my side...
When will fate bring my princess to me...
=S